DREAMS

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INNOCENCE

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ASPIRATIONS

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A RAY OF HOPE

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LOVE

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LIFE

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PASSION

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May 9, 2015

Being Inhuman


May 6 – The day when the verdict was finally going to be out whether Salman was going to be imprisoned for ramming his Toyota Land Cruiser over 5 people, killing one and injuring the others. A very anxious day for his fans and his family. People are praying for a positive verdict, the social media is abuzz with wishes and criticism. The verdict arrives and the lower court pronounces 5 year imprisonment for  Salman Khan.
Am a simple blogger, no one to comment on whether the verdict was fair or unfair; whether Salman deserved this kind of a treatment, whether he actually deserved to be behind bars. All this is something that the court would decide. But something that really struck me hard during all this frenzy was how inhuman we are turning out to be.
Am baffled by the huge number of supporters turning up and standing up with this star ,people who started the trend #BeingWithSalmanKhan and all the other stupid Bollywood stars who tweeted in support of Salman. I wonder are we totally losing out on humanity?I wonder whether the poor deserve a death like this because their only fault is that they are poor. Am enraged that  a singer like Abhijeet tweets , “Kutta rd pe soyega kutte ki maut marega, roads garib ke baap ki nahi hai I ws homles an year nvr slept on rd @BeingSalmanKhan @sonakshisinha.” I wonder whether the middle class and the lower middle class who purchase tickets every Friday to see their ‘Bhai-jaan’ on the big screen deserve a death like this.  This very tweet  and serveral other inhuman tweets show the mindset that these Bollywood demi gods have.
Am surprised by the hypocritical attitude of the Indians who created a lot of noise when Sunny Leone was brought to Big Boss 8. She was termed a western reject, someone who could possibly tarnish the so called Indian sanskaar. But it surprises me how we can easily forget the fact that the very host of the show Mr. Salman Khan was himself a convict. A convict who killed an innocent man lying on the streets of Mumbai because he cannot afford a Galaxy for himself. Am puzzled why people are praying that he be let free just because he has a charitable organization “Being human”. What is the point of offering charity and doing good stuff when you could ask your driver to take up all the blame and go to jail? What is the point of feeding thousands of poor kids when you have left a kid orphan by killing his father? Given the benefit of doubt Mr. Salman Khan may be a changed man ( as people claim) but the very fact that he has  pressurized his driver to accept that he was driving the Toyota Land Cruiser on that fateful night shows how little he cares for someone .. How does this qualify being human?
I am stunned by some Facebook posts and tweets that say he has done so many good things for people and helps people blindly. Does that compensate for a life lost ? From all those atrocious posts, some posted even by my friends I feel that my life has no value. If a car runs over me while am walking on the road, and if the car is a Bentley or Cruiser, that is totally fine because I belong to a middle class family and  I deserve to die on the roads. My family would get a compensation of around 19 lakhs and that would be the cost of my life or my murderer would pay up a bond of 30000 bucks the price of my life. Killing someone never sounded so casual till yesterday.

We are the very people who created chaos when two college going girls posted a simple status online.Their houses were broken , they were threatened just because they put up a simple status. But when Salman is convicted of homicide, it’s unfair. Why is it unfair ? Just because he is a star. Does this mean only the lives of rich have value in this country ?
For dumb people who say footpaths are not meant for sleeping, I would want to ask them are footpaths meant for drunken driving. If yes, then you are going to be next casualty or you could even die because some rich spoilt brat high on alcohol would unexpectedly or unintentionally ram over his cruiser on you, run away from the scene of the crime, get his driver take all the blame , offer your family a compensation to shut the case up. And if nothing works avoid the jail term by offering a paltry sum of 30000 and all that your family would get is 13 years of running across the corridors of the court and sleepless nights.

The verdict isn’t unfair but people supporting a crime like this definitely are. You can never compensate the loss of a life  even if you have 100 charitable organizations. I am baffled by people who are going out in his support by saying he is not  a serial killer so why the charge. So do you want to let someone be one?
The entire fiasco where in the sentence was pronounced and then the immediate bail shows the value of life in India. Your life has  a price if you are born with a silver spoon. For Indians, bollywood stars are like role models. But seriously guys, do you need a role model who has killed an innocent man, injured 4 others. Why do you still think the verdict is unfair. ? Did you ever think that night it could have been you coming late night from a party and being rammed over. The worst part is you are breathing the last moments of your life and you see no help coming inspite of begging for it. You pay the price of one wild party that your murdered had. Seriously do you or anyone deserve this kind of a life. Whenever I see Mr. Khan on the  big screen it reminds me of his cowardly attitude that night no matter how Dabangg he is on the big screen. He seems to be one who still doesn’t bother about anyone’s life except for his own. If he really was, he would have never allowed his driver to own up for the crime he has done.
What worries me isn’t the fact that Salman has got a bail or not, what worries is that this kind of a judgement will give rise to hundreds of Salman and every Salman would roam around freely at the cost of an innocent’s life. Every driver would get drunk and get the confidence of driving freely and ramming around every innocent sleeping on the roads after a hard day’s work. A judgement made by the lower court did instill a feeling that Law is above all but getting a bail within hours was nothing but a mockery of the system by their own torchbearers .

Only if Indians could understand that

" To deny people their human rights is to challenge their very humanity- Nelson Mandela".



Mar 28, 2015

Power Of Being Together! - A Housing.Com Initiative





I am not a morning person at all. And getting up early in the morning and jogging off alone never excited me . But this early wake up routine became exciting when I started going out together for a walk with my bestie Anu. A long walk with a  close one helps you deal with so many issues in our life.
Early morning her phone calls would nudge me to get out of bed and I would lazily join her for a walk. Initially it was just a calorie burner for both of  us. Later on , we started discussing everything that  happened in our day to day life with each other. I would pile up on her all my office issues, my fights with mom, my relationship issues etc. She would discuss everything under the roof with me . She would give me  her opinions and I would give her my thoughts about the same. Our lives became an open book .  Doing this made me realise how light hearted I felt everytime when I returned back from walk. I started feeling  mentally strong and used to look forward to begin each day with a new optimistic attitude.
Early morning walks are something recommended for every age group. And when you do it together with a close one it makes you physically and mentally strong.  We slowly started bonding with the pets that would come for a stroll with their owners . We would spend time with the old uncles and aunts who would come in for walks with their pets. That one hour we spent would set the mood for the rest of the day .  We would return back with a new zeal and optimism. Now that we are married off to two different locations, morning walks together is  something that has been a distant dream.
But still a single phone call from either end reduces the distance  within seconds and we end up chatting endlessly . And it feels so much better. Guess that is the power of being  #together!

 Every day is like a roller coaster ride for us and we face so many hurdles in our life . It takes strength to deal with it and  move on a positive note. We all have fights at home, face pressure at work, career aspirations, buying a house  and so many other issues. There are times when you just cant take it any more and you just need to take a break; a break from all this mundane stuff.  Nothing helps more than sharing stuff with your loved ones. At times its simply enough to know that some one is out there to listen to your problems without judging you.   

Mar 21, 2015

Ramayana – The Game of Life – Book Review




 This book review is a part of thBook Reviews Program at BlogAdda


We have woken up to Mahabharata and Ramayana playing on our television sets every Sunday  all our childhood. We Indians have a deep connect with mythology and we still are in love with the several Mythological serials that we have grown up seeing. So when a book based on Ramayana was up for review, I knew I had to do it ; and do it after reading completely
First of all hatsoff to the  writer  Shubha Vilas for taking up an epic scripted by Valmiki. It takes courage to reproduce the entire book without losing its essence and the interest while reading.
This book is  a sequel  to the national bestseller  Rise of the Sun Prince in this new series Ramayana – The Game of Life. Though I hadn’t read the prequel but it wasn’t difficult connecting to this book as the writer has written  so creatively that  you just get hooked up with the same.
At the end of Book 1, twelve years have passed by since the wedding of Rama and Sita.
The sequel revolves around how Dasarath considers Rama as his successor , he thinks Rama to be apt ruler of Ayodhya and decides to announce it to the kingdom. The decision is accepted happily by one and all . Kaikayi’s tantrums and a lot of other twists and turns results into Rama’s exile from Ayodhya for 14 years.
The writer has exposed several shades a human being can possess ; temptations , manipulative nature, jealousy, obedience etc.  The writer has beautifully etched the different changes human relationships can go through over a period of time. Rama stands the test of all relationships and so the writer calls Rama an unwavering persona. The book inspires us to stand the test of relationships and deal with reversals that we will face in life positively, to handle both good as well as bad tempatations strongly and also emphaises on the fact that there could be times when we would have to step out of our comfort zone and we will have to move along with tide and time.
The book is something that I would recommend every voracious reader , for all age groups. Priced at 350 this is total value for money. All those mythology book lovers, this one is a good catch.


Jan 31, 2015

No Pimples No Marks


This post is an entry for Garnier Contest on Indiblogger.

Your face is your window to the world. It is your identity and when your identity is marked by so many scars, you are bound to face so many issue. The very common problem that we face because of pimples are the unwanted attention that our face attracts. I have myself had the problem of acne during my childhood days .On certain days my face would be covered with boils, and where ever i would go, people would look at me , some with sympathy filled eyes, some with disgust. There would be unwanted advices flowing in from unknown quarters.

You sing , you dance , you talk in front of them and they would still be looking at your face.You get dressed in expensive kurtis , you look the best but all that people would  notice were the pimples. Aunties would come up with solutions " oily khana bandh karo"(which meant stop eating oily food) .  Cousins would say," kitna oil hai tumhare face pe "(which meant your face is so damn oily) . I would feel like telling that oil for cooking directly went from my face.
During presentations, you would be explaining every single stuff on the slide that you prepared slogging your ass off last night, but there would be one jerk looking at your face as if he had seen a ghost out of nowhere. While travelling in local trains, unknown people would ask" what happened to your face" . And i would be like, " hello ,who are you?".

Pimples are such a pain, it would pop up on the most important days of your life. On your marriage, on your first date with the most handsome guy, on your interview and all the other important occasions of your life pimples pop up and try their level best to dwindle your confidence.I know of a friend who refused to be photographed and was very reluctant to attend parties because of her acne problem. Acne can lower your confidence and may even make you a recluse.

The main reason behind explaining all this is , your face is the first thing people look at . Its essential you keep it clean, you keep it acne free. 



If you have serious acne problem, I have a one stop solution for you. The newly launched Garnier Active Neem Pure is the one stop solution for all your problems.  It contains Neem extracts and tea tree oil extracts.

It fights the acne causing bacteria ensuring that the skin remains acne free. It also  helps fight dirt and pollution which are another major factor causing skin breakouts. It removes excess oil and helps prevent acne to pop up. Slowly and gradually Garnier helps fade away the stubborn marks left on your skin. I always thought the acne would scar my face forever but luckily Garnier came into my life. Garnier was suggested by a friend who faced the same issue and it is a boon for many girls like me. Garnier isn't a miracle medicine that the changes would be visible in a day or two. It slowly starts working by cleaning the surface of your skin both in the interior as well as exterior and makes your skin slow..

                                   One Stop Solution For All my skin Problems.


Priced below 100 bucks this is a replacement for the n number of visits to your skin specialist. Buy this right now and get an acne free skin. Be pimple free ...Be Beautiful... because you deserve to be :)



Jan 25, 2015

Go Bolt Go!!! TATA’s Thunder – Bolt!

“This post is a part of the Get. Set. Bolt. activity at BlogAdda.”


It has always been a dream to own a car and take my parents around in  one. For my  mother, owning a car has always been a matter of pride.  I’m very sure the day I own a car, she is going to publicise it like Poonam Pandey’s PR would do. She would inform the  Sharmas and the Bhatias and every single person known to her and flaunt. Even though she may fumble when asked the name of the car,  “Who Cares?, We have car!” she would say and that is what means a lot to her. So when this TATA initiative came up, she was more pepped up about the same and asked me to go for it. I headed straightaway  to the Phoenix Market city mall in Kurla , approximately after an hour’s travel  in the local train.  After smelling sweaty armpits, and being pushed and shoved here and there, you realise why owning a car is a bliss.  My resolve to reach the mall strengthened further

Born and brought up in a middle class South Indian Family, car was a thing of luxury for me. And if luxury comes in such a package  with the brand name “Tata” then why not. I scanned for the location in the mall where the Arena was taking place and  I literally gasped“What A Beauty!”
                                                TATA BOLT - MY BEAUTY!

The prime reasons why Tata Bolt hit me like the “Godfather” bolt, are:

Exteriors :   A hatchback model, Tata Bolt boasts of a first in class smoked projector headlamps, a striking and  an attractive power bulge on the bonnet, the TATA logo (The T in a ring) in a piano black finish adding to the poise. For people who aren’t aware of what the logo stands for, the T shaped logo stands for trust that the brand exudes. The brand TATA, an epitome of  trust is another major reason why people would be drawn to buy Bolt. Another feature that this beauty proudly beams is a sporty rear spoiler, has 15’’ dynamic alloy wheels, ORVM with side indicators, flame shaped tail lamps, and smart rear wipers. All these features give the Bolt a sporty and classy look. It’s like a younger sibling of TATA zest with a perfect figure to it which reminded me of my sister who has one unlike me :D
( Watch the video where in you can see the car in full 360 degree)


video


Interiors :
The interior design of this four-wheeled beast tempted me to run away with it! On the inside, the dashboard has a smooth finish with power steering. TATA BOLT also has ensured that we are safe by providing us with the 9th generation  ABS by BOSCH ,CORNER STABILITY CONTROL and DUAL Airbags. The seats are well cushioned and are made of excellent quality fabric. TATA bolt boasts of an inbuilt HARMAN infotainment system which promises to help the customers have uninterrupted internet connectivity. The infotainment system  comprises of a  5’’ screen and can be connected to a wide range of smart phones. It also includes features like advanced Bluetooth technology, voice recognition and smart phone integration. The smart phone integration with the infotainment system enables me to use the  apps installed on my phone along with the system and ensures a fun packed drive. You could switch on to internet radio, podcasts and stay tuned to all the classics on that wonderful long drive of yours. I would say, get this beauty out in the night, tune into your favourite FM channel , switch on to the eco mode of the car and just get set go.. Oh did I say Eco mode?? There are two more modes which suit your persona


                         Harman Infotainment System and Powersteering- My Photography

                                   


                                                        Source :google.com

Performance/Multidrive Mode : Bolt has a multidrive model functionality and provides you with three modes : Sport, Eco and City, whichever mode suits your mood. If you are up for an adventure, go for the sporty mood and feel that adrenaline rush in your body, City mode will help you deal with the maddening traffic and eco mode increases the fuel efficiency. TATA Bolt comes in two variants – Petrol and Diesel . It has an inbuilt 1.2 litre turbocharged four cylinder Revotron motor capable of generating 85 bhp of power and 140 Nm of torque in the petrol variant and 1.3 litre Quadrajet engine putting out 75 bhp of power and 190 Nm of torque. The mileage that this car provides would give Usain Bolt a run for his money :d . The car promises to deliver a 24 kmpl mileage in its diesel version whereas 18-19kmpl by the petrol variant.

Seat Capacity  :   If you belong to a family ,where love Is displayed in dollops of butter and ghee smeared on your chapattis, this car is definitely for you. It has a seating capacity of 5 and is quite spacious within.  People with bulky frame can fit comfortably in this spacious car.  The  leg room in the front seat is sufficient enough for a 6.3ft height person to settle in. Inspite of adjusting the seat position ,certain cars are still uncomfortable with people above 6ft. But TATA bolt is comfy . The rear portion of the car near the backseat is so spacious that even I could squeeze in without a fight :D . There is ample boot-space to dump in your luggage while you relax in the front seat. Bolt defines space.

                             Sufficient Boot Space wherein you can bundle and even put me there ;)


Price & Service Centre : All the above mentioned features come at an affordable price ranging from 4-5 lakhs which is something that fits in to the middle class pocket. A perfect bolt  for a ‘nut’shell vehicle budget. Service centres for TATA  Bolt is present in almost all the major cities which again will ensure that your life is smooth and you don’t have to worry about the car’s maintenance . You know you have invested in a something safe when it has the name TATA embossed on it.
This is definitely the perfect car  for someone like me because it is friendly to my wallet and provides almost  all the features that the newly launched TATA Zest provides but at a lower price and above all ensures my safety. And above all it makes me look like this  when am with this beauty ;)




Jan 18, 2015

Mom & Me - Our Journey of Or & And



This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.
  

There have been no ifs and buts , No or's and And's in my life. I have always made the decision that i wanted to. This could be mostly because of my upbringing or rather the type of people I have grown up with. I have been taught to be independent and be an architect of my own dreams.

In a country where in people want their daughters to get married , leave their jobs and look after the kids I was lucky to be born in a place where my Mom said sky is the limit for you. You need to grow and there is no stopping you.


My Mom - My Inspiration 
Having heard this a million times from my mom, I have seen her following the same too. I have grown up seeing her juggling her work, her studies and our studies. Right at the age of 16 she stepped into the big bad world of Mumbai. Doing petty jobs, she saved the  money and would send money back to her widowed mother and a kid brother. She has slogged to make a life of her own.  I remember my mom doing her BA studies when i was in school. I would see her studying along with me. She was married and had two kids but nothing stopped her. She managed her studies , our studies and our home so effortlessly. Not a single day i remember when we would go without breakfast or lunch . Be it 4am in the morning or 12 am in the night she would be ready with the food whenever you ask her for.

Being a mom like her is something that I aim to be , someone who encouraged her kids to grow and nurture. She loved singing and dancing , a luxury which she could never have  but she ensured her kids got a formal training. I remember her dropping me to my classes and hopping away to buy veggies for dinner.

My mom is an inspiration. She is a lady whom i look up to. Though she is old fashioned but her thoughts aren't . When my sister got married, the first thing she told her in-laws  was ," I just have one condition. I want my daughter to grow.I want her to work. I have made her an engineer because i want her to achieve a position something that I couldn't." Those words left me inspired.

She has always taught me to be fearless and do what I thought was right.When  it came to
career matters, there was never an OR in her life. She always suggested #UseYourAnd . 


 She told me you could be an engineer And a singer, A dancer And a Teacher all at the same time.

Travelliing for 4 hours to and fro from dombivli to Nariman point ,she worked relentlessly for over 30 years and now finally she has retired. Met me few days back, and she said "Retirement life sucks and something has to be done" Such is her thirst to do something in life.

Two years back , when she had been transferred to Delhi, there came a situation where she had to choose between Mumbai - her home where her family was OR Delhi - where her career belonged to. She asked me if I could take care of home in her absence. My sister wasn't quite happy with her going away leaving me and dad alone  but I strongly believed she should go ahead with her career. I felt i would be selfish in holding her back .She was the one who had never given me the option of career OR marriage OR any such options. All that she gave me were innumerable AND's in my life at the expense of her sacrifices. It was time to give it all back. It was time to let her pursue her dreams. My dad let her go too. She stayed there for 2 years and came back when she wanted to. I am proud I could do my bit to pursue my moms dreams of several And's.

#UseYourAnds  in your life and be what you have always wanted to be. Whenever you face a situation when you have to chose an option of the two, never bow down. You could be everything And anything in your life if you want to!

Do not let the Or's in your life stop you from achieving what you aim for...

Things That Define Me

 This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

    



                                                              ME!ME!ME!ME!





Sky is the limit for me…. Every day I wake up and I have this feeling  that am racing against time. There is so little time left and have so much to achieve in life. This very feeling  encourages me to push myself to achieve more .  I just don’t want to stop . I want to keep doing things .  I want to learn more , achieve more. You can call me ambitious, but I feel am simply passionate about learning new stuff. My thirst of learning new things is simply insatiable.
Nerd : I was a nerd in school with those geeky glasses and someone who would always be buried under the heap of books. I was  a ranker and I always wanted to be  a ranker in whatever I did. I was hardworking to the core. I ate, I drank , I breathed the very ambition of being a doctor someday in my life. The very thought of seeing myself in the white apron pushed me to slog day and night. School days came to an end and so did junior college. Things didn’t go the way I wanted do… I got an admission for Engineering rather than Medical as I always dreamt of.

An Engineer: I always thought I could never be an engineer. Understanding technicalities and working on the same wasn’t my cup of tea. I cried , I frowned because I felt I was stuck in something I couldn’t relate to. But somehow I came to terms with reality and accepted the fact that I need to be good in whatever I do rather than cribbing over what I couldn’t be in life.  Working hard through out the  four years I passed out with flying colours .
A Teacher: Yes, you are right a technical job wasn’t my first job. I remember my dad refusing money for buying some artificial jewellery for which I was crazy at that time. And my mom telling me bluntly,” If you want it, earn it .” And that somehow  hit me so badly and  I decided that henceforth I would never ask them for a single penny. And that is how I started with my first job. Teaching a bunch of students at my place for a small amount ranging from 100-300 bucks. All these  kids  belonged to lower economic groups. The joy of teaching them was priceless.
An Engineer:  Recession hit the techies back in 2008 and most of us lacked a well paying technical job.  Eight months after the results were out, I landed my first job as a techie in PATNI computers. Even though coding wasn’t  my cup of tea , I have worked hard enough to meet the expectations of my peers and senior colleagues. Am proud to say that I am doing well in a field I thought I would never take a step into.
A Singer: Music has been a part of my life right from my childhood. Mom would tie my piggytails and drop me for an hour of Carnatic Training. Initially what I thought was boring somehow became my lifeline. From singing in bathrooms and then on stage, it somehow became an indispensable part of my life. As a techie in the software firm , I did everything to stay in touch with the noble art of music. Right from singing in stage to jails and orphanages I have did it all. The claps and loud cheer from the audience encouraged me everytime  to go back there and perform. I have forgotten lyrics, I have missed the tune at times but its an ongoing fight to make it the best .
Dancer:  I tied ghungroo on my feet at the age of 5. I would be a coy child and I knew I never danced well. No appreciation from the guru further strengthened my resolved. Eight years passed by like that and at the ripe age of 13, I did my Arrangetram ( my first stage performance) and I danced like no one was watching. I performed roles that no one could with ease and finesse. Applauded and cheered for being a good performer I went on to perform in various states of our country. I danced till the age of 25 and have taken a sabbatical now from Bharat Natyam and Kuchipudi. Tied a ghungroo on my feet I can still enthrall the audience with my expressions and grace. Somehow after my marriage I feel getting involved in an another dance form just to stay attached with the art.
Blogger:  Tired of my endless blabbering ,  a friend suggested me to start writing. He thought  I could put my endless thoughts into words and he would be relieved for a while.  I thought it wasn’t a bad idea  and took upto blogging. Won several accolades and prizes, blogging just became an integral part of my life.
A daughter : I can say I have been a good daughter. Good in the sense, independent to the core, my parents never had to worry about anything be it my studies, my marriage, my classes ..i can say and even they would agree to this that am a self made person. I have made my decisions and have abided them. Good or bad I have taken it in my stride and have learnt from the same.
A daughter in law : Just three months into the marriage , am not sure what kind of a daughter in law I am. But quite sure of the fact that am not giving people a tough time at my in laws  as my mom had expected :D  A food lover and someone who loves to cook and experiment with food, I love cooking for my family. Am not a superchef but someone who loves cooking for my folks. At times  the food turns super yumm and at times it just deserves to go down the drain. As I blog, my poor in laws are hogging a bowl of miserably cooked Hakka noodles. But whenever my mom-in-law says its good, my heart leaps with joy.
A wife : Am more of a friend  than a wife to my husband. We discuss  everything right from gals to each other’s  dirtiest secrets. Am not sure whether am the perfect wife that my husband looked out for but I have made sure my imperfections haven’t come in the way of our married life. Am like that typical wife who waits for the husband to come and have dinner ,A wife who hugs him when he is back home after work, a wife who want to see her hubby eat  etc etc.
Sister: I am also A younger sister to my sibling who is somewhere reading this article and planning to correct all my mistakes in this article. We have come a long way  right from the worst fights that we had where in neighbours would come and drag us apart to the fact that I could punch in anyone’s face who talk ill against my sister. I can fight with my sister but if you fight….oh boy!! You are in total mess!
Apart from all this , am into Scrabble,badminton and social work.

This is ME! This is my small world..my world filled with music,dance arts ,my family , my friends,my hubby.. My life is incomplete without all of them. I juggle all these responsibilities all at a time. People ask me how I find time for all these activities…. Its my belief that if you are passionate about anything in your life  you just have all the time in the world.. Nothing can stop you  .
So what if you are married, so what if you are a mom to a toddler…make time for yourself. Let your hair loose and have fun doing what you love the most.
I would say be a little selfish  and save that small amount of time for yourself doing what you love the most.

Do things that make you happy and do it often..

Jan 17, 2015

Battling Anxiety & Depression

This article has been selected by Blog Adda as a Tangy Tuesday Pick !


Just  grabbed  yesterday’s  Hindustan Times  and read Deepika Padukone talking about anxiety and depression. I read her article and it took me years back when I was battling against the same.It all started when I was studying for engineering and suddenly one day I had the same feeling that she has rightly described as an ‘ empty feeling’.  It was difficult to understand as to what was happening.
I couldn’t even express what  I was going through. Explaining it to my parents was difficult too. I didn’t  know what to tell them what I was going through. It began with palpitations(increased heart beats), panic attacks and sudden emotional outbursts in public. I would breakdown for reasons unknown to me.  I explained my ordeal to mom and since my sister had gone through the same  we were quite familiar with the  term ‘ anxiety ‘ in the family.  My  parents thought it was initial stress and it would just go away with me relaxing and avoiding too much of  stress. It was difficult for me to concentrate on anything.   I couldn’t bear being in a crowd and would break down very often. I would gasp for breath and at times would feel choked up.
I would try hard to focus on stuff other than the empty feeling and would try to keep my mind indulged in other activities.It would give me momentary relief . I would feel better.  I started keeping myself busy. It did help me up to some extent but then what would I do on busy streets. I lost my confidence . When ever  I would see a train approaching a station I would debate in my mind, “Will I be able to board this or won’t I “ . This mental debate would leave me waiting at station for hours, lost and scared. I researched a lot on these symptoms and since my sister already had gone through it I knew it was anxiety neurosis and a beginning of depression. I would cry for reasons unknown . I  would feel  weak and limbless ,lethargic . I would find it difficult to get  up from bed  on certain days.



Source:drhurd.com

My dad would always ask me, “ Anxious and depressed at this age? What is your age,24?” . Discussing with friends would be like explaining rocket science. My friends would be like you are so strong mentally , how can you be depressed. My parents were always worried about me and never left me alone .  Though  I never thought of ending up my life but an approaching train would bring up several thoughts. I was always  surrounded by friends but I always felt lonely.   I always had my  boyfriend around and had the best relationship ever but  I would still be unhappy. My boyfriend would often wonder what he had done to upset me so much that I would suddenly burst  into tears. And one day the condition  became so worse in the middle of a busy road , I felt someone was strangulating me to death . I couldn’t breathe and I checked myself into a local dispensary where in the doctor put me on bed for an hour , offered me water and after some time I was back on feet.  That is when I knew I had to seriously do something about it.
I confided in my then boyfriend and now husband and we decided to visit a psychiatrist. I knew I needed medical help . I knew I couldn’t do it alone. I tried  medical counselling too just like Deepika did. But it was of momentary relief and moreover meditating at  all the places isn’t something that is possible. I tried  Homeopathy too and surprisingly one of the doctors even said since I was past the age of getting married, it’s the sexual frustration that was leading into this.  I was appalled by the ignorance .  Needless to say that it was the last time I ever went again to the doctor. Finally took Allopathy treatment for a year and  now I can say I am completely free and the confidence is back.

If you need help ask for it. There is nothing to be ashamed of it . And during my period of treatment my doctor had several counselling sessions for my parents too so that even they could understand what exactly I was going through. I too would think at times whether I should tell my friends  about my psychiatric counselling  and would think what would be their reaction . Going  to a psychiatrist doesn’t make  you crazy. It is just like going to a doctor for  fever or jaundice. The treatment and the therapy made me stronger , further strengthened my belief that  I am perfectly normal and that I can come out of it stronger and healthier.
I have seen a lot of my friends going through the same but the very thought of going to a psychiatrist makes them  think twice. They feel they are going to be better soon without any help. Just talking it out with friends doesn’t help much, it helps upto some extent but it could be detrimental too at times because there is too much of an ignorance regarding this . Not all those who are sad are depressed and vice versa.  There is a world of difference between being sad and depressed. The word depressed is highly misunderstood .  It’s necessary to nip the problem from the bud. And let me tell you everyone and anyone can be depressed ..it doesn’t matter whether you are strong weak ,tall or short etc. It’s the worst feeling ever.
It’s great to see actors coming out of the closet and discussing their personal issues and actually trying to do something about it. Hats Off to Deepika for coming up with such an initiative and for speaking her mind . I could actually relate completely with her when I read her article. It was exactly that I went through.
It’s necessary you open up with your close ones during such a period but don’t be ashamed of taking medical help.



Stay healthy. Stay happy.

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