DREAMS

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INNOCENCE

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ASPIRATIONS

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A RAY OF HOPE

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LOVE

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LIFE

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PASSION

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Aug 11, 2018

Dilbaro …….

 
 
I usually write when I am in the right mood to express things.
So tonight is kind of the right mood to let my thoughts flow freely
This post is dedicated to my two close friends who recently lost their dads.
I saw a post shared by one of them on instagram and I realised that the relationship between a father and daughter is so so beautiful . I
For every daughter, the father is the first role model. A daughter always looks for the qualities of her dad in her man.
In most of the houses, usually a mother's role is in the foreground while taking decisions for the daughter..but the dad is always in the background worrying for the well being of the daughter.. Dads are the best example of heroes without capes.
They are the most underrated heroes of our lives.. They work , slog to give us a good future but the moms always take up the icing on the cake of giving us birth. This post doesn't mean to say dads are more important than a mom in a child's life but i would want to put it as how both are equally important.
Your dad may not express daily what they feel about you, but I am sure all the married daughters would agree that their dads were a little heartbroken when they got married. Your dads are the rocks of your life you can lean to whenever you feel weak
Guys, it is not easy to leave your parental home and step into a new family altogether. Our dads set up the standards so high that we expect our men to meet those standards of love and respect.
I was listening to the song Dilbaro from the movie Razi and I must say the lyrics written by Gulzar are mesmerising.It brought out every emotion in me.
The lyrics go this way :
Ungli pakad ke tune
Chalna sikhaya tha na
Dehleez oonchi hai ye, paar karaa de
Baba main teri mallika
Tukda hoon tere dil ka
Ikk baar phir se dehleez paar karaa de
True that we have been taught everything but not how to stay apart from our dads or parents after we get married.. Doesn't matter how old you grow... you will still need them.You will still need them around.
For kids who have a stressful relation with their dads, mend fences as soon as you can and for others treasure your moments with your parents...they are priceless
Time has come when we help them cross every oonchi dehleez https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/f4c/1/16/1f642.png:)
I tried to sing this beautiful song.. just a few lines after so many years.. My sister Priya Raj heard it and said that my voice sounded sweet . People who know me know how i sound https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/f51/1/16/1f603.png:D But as phoebe says the phlegm makes her sound sexy... the phlegm worked for me as well i guess !
I may have missed out on few notes here and there but it was a spontaneous one,,,, excuse me for the same https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/f4c/1/16/1f642.png
 
 
                            Picture Courtesy : Google ( Images in the Video are procured from Google)
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Sep 10, 2017

Broken Dreams

#BrokenDreams #RandomThoughts

Nov 11, 2016

Dear Zindagi!

 “I am writing a letter to life for the #DearZindagiactivity at BlogAdda“.

Dear Zindagi ,

Words fail me when I think of writing you a letter to express my gratitude and love towards you.
You have been a roller coaster all the time.Whenever I think I have hit a new low,you take me to the highest pedestal .And when I think I have reached  the highest point in my life ,and think I am the best and the greatest  ,you take me back to the lowest point again reminding me that times can change. And that you need to move with the change.
You teach me every time, that if you want to witness a rainbow you need to bear the rain.

I am not sure what I should be more grateful for ...
for teaching me to stand back on my toes with every baby step I took and fell on my knees. Or
For losing my rank in the exams but still teaching me a lesson that ranks don't determine your potential your knowledge does
Or
For teaching me to be an independent individual all my life and slaying it completely.
Or
For making me believe in Mills and Boons kind of romance
Or
For teaching me that it is okay to take the first step in your relationship ...be it expression of my feelings or being sorry about something
Or
For helping me deal with my anxiety neurosis ,depression and coming out strong .
Or
For teaching me it's okay to lose .
I am not sure what I should be thankful for. I know you have been harsh on me on certain days...you have had your share of mood swings. You have put me through trials and tribulations but am not complaining because you never promised me it would be a bed of Roses.
I am so enchanted with the idea of experiencing you that I feel on certain days that am losing out on time to be with this boon called 'Zindagi' .
I remember the breakups,heartbreaks, frustrations that you brought along but your every chapter just taught me that this too shall pass and it's just one of your bad days.
I feel blessed that I am one of the few lucky ones who got 29 years of experiencing you.

There are times when I have felt you had a different script of living for me; when I have felt I could have had it all...But every time this thought crossed my mind, you questioned me on my face if I would have been as grateful as I am now if I had it all.

I am besotted with the wonderful surprises you have brought along when I have felt my life had become so  dull.You always keep me on the edge of the seat wondering what next?
There would be times when I would want to give up on you but you have always taught me to battle out all the struggles you are going to bring along.... so bring it on!.

I have ultimately learnt that Zindagi or life isn't a burden....it's the expectations and dreams we weave that make it a burden.We must learn to deal with failures as well as success.

You have taught me the value of having you with every breath I take and with every beat of my heart.

You are such a beauty Dear Zindagi, I have felt this on every single day when I have met new people  , when I have visited new places,with every experience I have had.

I have always believed that l should experience you like it's my first and the last rendezvous with you, I want to indulge you with all the love ,madness ,laughter,tears and spoil you to the core.

I always wanted to be  a free bird but you taught me that actual freedom is to break free of all the thoughts , all those people , all those customs that bring you down in life.
When I turn back to see you in retrospect,all i feel is gratitude.

Thanks Zindagi!



Oct 19, 2016

Dear Hubby

Happy happy anniversary my dear hubby,

Let me tell you this is going to be the year when officially people have the right to ask us awkward baby questions, when they think they have the right to speculate if things are going the wrong or the right way....

I think that's what the second year of marriage in our society means. Forcefully have babies due to pressure from all corners . 

But yes the last two years of our marriage  I think both of us have learnt a lot. We have learnt to give importance to our choices more than what people think or will think about us.

We have given importance to our careers, our dreams and have made adjustments..I wouldn't use the word compromise because I feel no one should ever compromise on their dreams for the sake of others.We probably have one life together, which we decided to live together....so why not make the most out of it. 

Ok..so hows been the last one year of our life....Read on...



There have been times when I have felt what if we fail to have kids and I have had shared these apprehensions with you...you were quick enough to point out that if its meant to be it will be.

There have been times when I have felt what If I would
 never conceive ....you were quick enough to say the fault could be in both of us and not me alone.

All the last ten years of my life I wanted to be Mrs.nambiar( you can ask my friends about this) , but the moment I got married to you I felt a sudden possessiveness to my maiden surname. I felt that's what made me whatever I am and it wasn't easy enough to part ways with it. I just couldn't change it for the sake of it.  I mean even if it changes on paper , probably deep down I would still want to be called as  Chitra Nair. Not being a feminist and changing norms here ,..it's simply my choice. Have discussed this with you and you were very cool enough to say you can live with your maiden name all your life.

I have asked you many a times if I would ever support your career choices the way you have done and you were quick enough to say I will. 

There are times when you get a couple of flirty messages from random friends of yours . And me getting it from some friends of mine. You have always been indifferent to these and I have learnt from you how  to not let it affect the stability of our marriage.

The Germany official trip that I would be leaving for in few days; I so very well remember how our anniversary as well as vacation plans had to be changed in a jiffy like in an hour with all the pre bookings cancelled . You even paid up the cancellation amount so that I could go ahead with the Germany trip... You have always let my dreams grow .

You have patiently answered a 'NO' a million times like a BOSS whenever i have asked if I have grown fat.i mean how effortlessly you do that ;)

You have held me tight when I thought I would crumple , you have helped me grow when I thought I won't, you let me live a  crazy wild life of a bachelor when I thought marriage was the end of my freedom. You have surprised me at every stage of my life in a way or the other
I don't think I would remember the materialistic stuff that I have received as gifts from you, it's going to be these memories that I would be cherishing all my life.


I believe amidst the silly love notes, text messages ,dinner dates we actually grew up as a couple in the last one year.

And I also know when I am pouring my heart out in this post... you are going to be the last one who would be reading this ...slow that you are ... bwahhahaha!

Once again happy anniversary...!!!

Getting married to you has one of been the best decisions of my life..and I hope you feel the same haha!

Jun 5, 2016

My First TV Shoot.( BBC Talking Business)


Its been a long time since I have posted anything and I think this is the best moment to get back to writing.  A month back one of my school friends messaged me asking if I was interested in coming on a talk show “Talking Business” on BBC .She said that this time on the show they were planning to have a discussion on issues faced by women in India’s workforce and what stopped them from pursuing their careers. The discussion was supposed to be an element of Talking Business show  consisting  of panel discussion with Naina Lal Kidwai, Vaishali Kasture – Former Goldman Sachs  India Head and a HRexpert.


I wondered just like many others who have been asking me why  I was selected for the same. They needed a real face someone who would openly discuss the issues that women face actually and wouldn’t think twice about being  open about it. My friend Kinjal ( who is a producer of the show)thought I would be apt for it and roped me in.


When I got the opportunity , I thought I should take someone else along with me someone who Is equally bold like I am and someone who is equivocal about such issues.And that is how I roped in my best friend Aswathi for the chat show.We had a lot of discussions with the producer of the show before we actually went for the shoot. Points that we were going to discuss were put forth and finally the date , the schedule and the script all were ready and we were asked to report for the shoot early in the morning before the office hours.Facing the camera for the first time wasn’t very difficult as we thought and the shoot went as per the schedule.The show was supposed to be aired both on BBC English and Hindi as well. And this is what the show exactly looks like . Please go to the link and check the video ( http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-36426579)


We discussed a lot of points and not a lot of them were shown on TV. The points that I felt as to why women have to leave their careers as compared to men is because of the following reasons:1)      Mental Harassment & Sexual Harassment2)      Lack of Safety3)      Unfriendly HR policies4)      Lack of Role Models5)      Orthodox  mindset of the society.I also shared an incident of being mentally harassed by a former colleague of mine ( which is not shown in the video) for over three months.That was one of the darkest period of my IT career I would say. I had even thought of quitting my job and taking a sabbatical .But then I found my lost strength in my family who said we would end up meeting such people in every walk of life and that running away from situations isn’t a solution for the same. You need to fight the situation and make peace with it . And that is exactly what I did . 

I spoke against the harassment and decided not to take it lying down inspite of being a fresher in the field of IT. I am thankful to that former colleague of mine for torturing me so badly that I emerged strong out of it. Work bullies is a concept that I was introduced to all thanks to him.  One thing that I wanted to express via my presence in show was women shouldn’t take things lying down silently. The main reason why people take advantage of women is because they consider women as a weaker sex and someone who would bear everything silently. Via my blog I would want my readers as well as everyone who would be watching the video that always speak up against what you think is wrong. Speak up if someone /something is going against you in an unfair way. No one is going to help you out if you don’t help yourself. I am not trying to vent out any personal grudge via this post but I feel fighting against a situation  will make you stronger in life J


I am extremely glad I could do my bit by being on the show and speaking for my gender , on behalf of so many women who dream big in life and are struggling to see their dreams turning into realities. I am extremely glad that a lot of my friends & my family are very happy and proud of me for doing this. Thanks to all of them. I am also happy that there are some who find all this too much of a hype and have openly expressed it. But the hype is worth it as it is not every day that I would wake up early in the morning to be messaged by a friend in Spain just to say that she spotted me on BBC  TV.  There are also people who have said “ that was just a two minute shoot” . Not everyone gets a chance to be on Global news for something good even for two minutes. For me every achievement small or big is an achievement  .


And thanks to a lot of people who actually made me realize that it is a big thing to be on TV for something good and something sensible. Thanks a lot . This one is definitely going to be something I am never going to be tired of being proud of. Because it is totally worth it.:)


May 9, 2015

Being Inhuman


May 6 – The day when the verdict was finally going to be out whether Salman was going to be imprisoned for ramming his Toyota Land Cruiser over 5 people, killing one and injuring the others. A very anxious day for his fans and his family. People are praying for a positive verdict, the social media is abuzz with wishes and criticism. The verdict arrives and the lower court pronounces 5 year imprisonment for  Salman Khan.
Am a simple blogger, no one to comment on whether the verdict was fair or unfair; whether Salman deserved this kind of a treatment, whether he actually deserved to be behind bars. All this is something that the court would decide. But something that really struck me hard during all this frenzy was how inhuman we are turning out to be.
Am baffled by the huge number of supporters turning up and standing up with this star ,people who started the trend #BeingWithSalmanKhan and all the other stupid Bollywood stars who tweeted in support of Salman. I wonder are we totally losing out on humanity?I wonder whether the poor deserve a death like this because their only fault is that they are poor. Am enraged that  a singer like Abhijeet tweets , “Kutta rd pe soyega kutte ki maut marega, roads garib ke baap ki nahi hai I ws homles an year nvr slept on rd @BeingSalmanKhan @sonakshisinha.” I wonder whether the middle class and the lower middle class who purchase tickets every Friday to see their ‘Bhai-jaan’ on the big screen deserve a death like this.  This very tweet  and serveral other inhuman tweets show the mindset that these Bollywood demi gods have.
Am surprised by the hypocritical attitude of the Indians who created a lot of noise when Sunny Leone was brought to Big Boss 8. She was termed a western reject, someone who could possibly tarnish the so called Indian sanskaar. But it surprises me how we can easily forget the fact that the very host of the show Mr. Salman Khan was himself a convict. A convict who killed an innocent man lying on the streets of Mumbai because he cannot afford a Galaxy for himself. Am puzzled why people are praying that he be let free just because he has a charitable organization “Being human”. What is the point of offering charity and doing good stuff when you could ask your driver to take up all the blame and go to jail? What is the point of feeding thousands of poor kids when you have left a kid orphan by killing his father? Given the benefit of doubt Mr. Salman Khan may be a changed man ( as people claim) but the very fact that he has  pressurized his driver to accept that he was driving the Toyota Land Cruiser on that fateful night shows how little he cares for someone .. How does this qualify being human?
I am stunned by some Facebook posts and tweets that say he has done so many good things for people and helps people blindly. Does that compensate for a life lost ? From all those atrocious posts, some posted even by my friends I feel that my life has no value. If a car runs over me while am walking on the road, and if the car is a Bentley or Cruiser, that is totally fine because I belong to a middle class family and  I deserve to die on the roads. My family would get a compensation of around 19 lakhs and that would be the cost of my life or my murderer would pay up a bond of 30000 bucks the price of my life. Killing someone never sounded so casual till yesterday.

We are the very people who created chaos when two college going girls posted a simple status online.Their houses were broken , they were threatened just because they put up a simple status. But when Salman is convicted of homicide, it’s unfair. Why is it unfair ? Just because he is a star. Does this mean only the lives of rich have value in this country ?
For dumb people who say footpaths are not meant for sleeping, I would want to ask them are footpaths meant for drunken driving. If yes, then you are going to be next casualty or you could even die because some rich spoilt brat high on alcohol would unexpectedly or unintentionally ram over his cruiser on you, run away from the scene of the crime, get his driver take all the blame , offer your family a compensation to shut the case up. And if nothing works avoid the jail term by offering a paltry sum of 30000 and all that your family would get is 13 years of running across the corridors of the court and sleepless nights.

The verdict isn’t unfair but people supporting a crime like this definitely are. You can never compensate the loss of a life  even if you have 100 charitable organizations. I am baffled by people who are going out in his support by saying he is not  a serial killer so why the charge. So do you want to let someone be one?
The entire fiasco where in the sentence was pronounced and then the immediate bail shows the value of life in India. Your life has  a price if you are born with a silver spoon. For Indians, bollywood stars are like role models. But seriously guys, do you need a role model who has killed an innocent man, injured 4 others. Why do you still think the verdict is unfair. ? Did you ever think that night it could have been you coming late night from a party and being rammed over. The worst part is you are breathing the last moments of your life and you see no help coming inspite of begging for it. You pay the price of one wild party that your murdered had. Seriously do you or anyone deserve this kind of a life. Whenever I see Mr. Khan on the  big screen it reminds me of his cowardly attitude that night no matter how Dabangg he is on the big screen. He seems to be one who still doesn’t bother about anyone’s life except for his own. If he really was, he would have never allowed his driver to own up for the crime he has done.
What worries me isn’t the fact that Salman has got a bail or not, what worries is that this kind of a judgement will give rise to hundreds of Salman and every Salman would roam around freely at the cost of an innocent’s life. Every driver would get drunk and get the confidence of driving freely and ramming around every innocent sleeping on the roads after a hard day’s work. A judgement made by the lower court did instill a feeling that Law is above all but getting a bail within hours was nothing but a mockery of the system by their own torchbearers .

Only if Indians could understand that

" To deny people their human rights is to challenge their very humanity- Nelson Mandela".



Mar 28, 2015

Power Of Being Together! - A Housing.Com Initiative





I am not a morning person at all. And getting up early in the morning and jogging off alone never excited me . But this early wake up routine became exciting when I started going out together for a walk with my bestie Anu. A long walk with a  close one helps you deal with so many issues in our life.
Early morning her phone calls would nudge me to get out of bed and I would lazily join her for a walk. Initially it was just a calorie burner for both of  us. Later on , we started discussing everything that  happened in our day to day life with each other. I would pile up on her all my office issues, my fights with mom, my relationship issues etc. She would discuss everything under the roof with me . She would give me  her opinions and I would give her my thoughts about the same. Our lives became an open book .  Doing this made me realise how light hearted I felt everytime when I returned back from walk. I started feeling  mentally strong and used to look forward to begin each day with a new optimistic attitude.
Early morning walks are something recommended for every age group. And when you do it together with a close one it makes you physically and mentally strong.  We slowly started bonding with the pets that would come for a stroll with their owners . We would spend time with the old uncles and aunts who would come in for walks with their pets. That one hour we spent would set the mood for the rest of the day .  We would return back with a new zeal and optimism. Now that we are married off to two different locations, morning walks together is  something that has been a distant dream.
But still a single phone call from either end reduces the distance  within seconds and we end up chatting endlessly . And it feels so much better. Guess that is the power of being  #together!

 Every day is like a roller coaster ride for us and we face so many hurdles in our life . It takes strength to deal with it and  move on a positive note. We all have fights at home, face pressure at work, career aspirations, buying a house  and so many other issues. There are times when you just cant take it any more and you just need to take a break; a break from all this mundane stuff.  Nothing helps more than sharing stuff with your loved ones. At times its simply enough to know that some one is out there to listen to your problems without judging you.   

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