I recently got engaged; two months back! Though it was a love turned arranged marriage , I must say it felt all arranged. I still belong to an old school of thoughts and at times, it makes me wonder, really was I in love for 6 years with the same guy?
Just like it happens with an arranged marriage, the guy's family drops in to meet the gal's family. rather see the gal, the same stuff happened with me. I was nervous, like any other gal would.I wondered why i was nervous.. i had known this guy for so long... then why the anxiety.. May be because i wanted things to go right ... Thousands of thoughts crossed my mind, and finally i was down with fever . Two crocins down , i somehow looked presentable on the day which was supposed to be the most important day of my life. More important than any other day rather. Dressed in a saree( Again the old school of thought worked here) I waited impatiently for my groom and the family. And I must say the wait was endless. Finally they came in.
I was always against the arrange marriage stuff because i am an all time confused bimbo who is highly indecisive who can't decide petty things for herself, forget choosing the life partner in some twenty minutes or what!!! Ok now you would wonder how I zeroed on in my fiancee....surprisingly right from the day i met him, nothing felt wrong, there was no two opinions or rather there wasn't any second thought. There was something right about the decision. Everything felt right about him, about us!!And an other reason for not liking the arrange marriage stuff, was carrying the tray of tea and delicacies to the innumerable prospective grooms where you have to be shy, and all eyes are glued on you.I hated that!! What was I , a show doll? And so arrange marriages were strictly NO!!!
But carrying a tray for my future in laws felt right. Suddenly i felt shy too... Seriously shy and Me!! I wondered!! But doing this felt as a responsibility i must shoulder all my life which i felt was right! When you feel things are right, there is no way they can go wrong. The meeting of the families went well . And so we are engaged!! yay!! we are engaged !! :D :D
I always used to ask people , whether there was any difference between staying engaged and being in a relationship. And people would say Nah!! we feel the same. But i do feel a lot of difference ... The transition of a boyfriend to a fiancee changes a lot of stuff in your life. I am not sure whether you all would agree with this. But yes, i believe a responsibility comes up along with the ring. And its a sweet one...It's very essential to understand that the way you carry yourself, the way you behave will not only affect your family but your future family too.. Its not just one family that you have to care about now! but its two families !! And also you can't call your fiancee an idiot or a dumbo in front of the so called "relatives" though you are thick friends till date. Yes but calling him an idiot in private...more than welcome :P
There are more people to care for, who care for you and lovely moments to look forward to.
This is the moment where you get to understand your partner from a different point of view, where you get to know his family, where you know what your future parents in law are going to be. At the same time, this is the moment where they would also understand you as a person. I would advice not to fake it, and try to be the best bahu of Sas bahu sagas.. it doesn't work that way. If you are stupid, be it.. let them accept the way you are... because trying to be intelligent for years to come is going to be a difficult task. The period between the engagement and marriage is also the time, when you try to accept his parents as yours. I would call it as one of the most sensitive period of a person's life , something that should be handled with care.
Handy tip : Spending more time with your in laws and knowing to get them better is something that should be done during this pre marriage period.
And apart from all this, calling your boyfriend a fiancee gives a different sense of happiness.
If you are of the marriageable age and haven't fallen in love yet, don't keep searching for one.. it could come on your way during the many walk-ins with the tray of tea and delicacies. And trust me..once you get engaged, you are going to love the time before the marriage and after the engagement....