Suicide – An only option ?

Few days back, entire Bollywood was startled with the news of Jiah Khan ending up her life due to reasons best known to her. Another one to be added to the list is Michael Jackson’s daughter who recently tried to end up her life because she was under tremendous stress. Both the news were equally disturbing and has made me wonder whether suicide is the only way to solve problems of life

Read a lot of articles where in people termed the ones committing suicides as “coward”,” weak “ and “selfish”. But are they really weak, selfish and coward? People also come up with explanations that they should have thought about their family before taking up an extreme step. My question is , if someone was in a stable state of mind where   in they are taking all kinds of possibilities ,thinking about family etc etc .. why would they even try to commit suicide. If I know , I have my family who can support me during all my problems why would I want to end up my life. The one’s who call such people coward must think twice. The most difficult thing in life to do is to hurt oneself and it takes a lot of guts to come to the decision to induce pain to oneself. By saying this am not trying to glorify suicides .. all that I am trying to say is stop accusing people who commit suicide . No one wonders why they had to take the extreme step even when they had their “relatives”, “family” around. It is easier to point out that she /he committed suicide coz she was going through a rough patch , or had a heartbreak etc … But have we ever wondered how much have we stopped and taken some time out for our friends or family members who need help.

We are somewhere responsible for the loneliness that hounds us. In this level of cut throat competition , there is no time to stop and wait .Everyone is in a race to achieve something materialistic. What one must understand is failure and success  are part and parcel of life and not our life. Gone are the days where people used to spend hours chatting with family, discussing issues with them and coming to solutions. Now all  that people do to get rid of their problems is have a smoke, go for a drink etc. People are scared to come out and discuss their issues with friends because everyone is concerned about their image in society , “ what will they say, what will our relatives say etc etc”  . I believe the society is the one that is more coward than the ones who commit suicide. There are hardly few instances where in people give someone a chance to come up in life once they fail.

 In Jiah khan’s case, as per news reports she had tried attempting suicide long back too. I wonder whether she was ever taken for psychiatric counseling or was given the medical help she required. In our society, a stigma is attached to the word psychiatry. People think all those who go for psychiatric counseling are mentally ill. Many a times in life, it so happens that even though there are so many people around, we need someone to be there for us, to assure us everything will be ok; something that your friends or family may not understand at times.  Its not shameful to go to a doctor and get treated for loneliness or depression. Its just like any other treatment . Recently I had told one of my friends  that am taking her for counseling as she had bouts of depression due to a failed marriage. She immediately refused. Why ?? !!

People use depression word very casually these days. Let me tell you depression is not as casual as it sounds. I was diagnosed with anxiety neurosis and mild depression symptoms few years back. I had immediately sought medical help because my family was supportive. They cared a damn about the world . And  the treatment yielded wonderful results.

Next time you see your family member /friend  having any of these symtoms(source : http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm)   mentioned below seek medical help .

• Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
• activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
• Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
• Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
• Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
• Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
• Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
• Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
• Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
• Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

 Life is a roller coaster ride with ups and downs. If you are enthusiastic about the ups , you must be equally ready to face the downs.  When I was under treatment I followed certain tips as mentioned below  which proved extremely  helpful and changed the way I looked towards life.

1)      Discuss your frustrations and disappointments on a day to day basis with your family members , closed ones. Talk to your closed ones who understand you be whatever it is.. love relations, work problems etc. For people who end up their life because of relationship failures,  always remember there are still people in life

2)      You feel sad, you feel like crying in the middle of the road, let it out.  bring the frustration out.. Don’t bother about the world.

3)      IF you are an introvert , vent your day to day frustrations on a diary

4)      Involve yourself in things you love to do. Join a hobby class, go for dance lessons etc.. do everything that you wish to do in life..

5)      Meditate

6)      Listen to soothing music for atleast half an hour a day.

7)      Go for morning walks.

8)      Relax . Stay away from people who try to put you down. Try to be with friends who have a positive outlook towards life.

9)      Keep learning new things in life. They are bound to be of use some or the other time in life.

Jiah Khan was an extremely talented dancer who knew several art forms. What if her acting career failed, she could have opted to start a dance academy or begin a new venture using this talent of hers. But again everyone treated her like a failure ( as per the reports).  Only if someone could have guided   her to show a different picture of life. Only if someone could have told her there is more to life than being a star in Bollywood !! Alas!!

Suicide isn’t the only option in life… And remember there are  no problems ever in life without any solutions.

Sitaron Se Aage Jahaan Aur Bhi Hain,

Abhi Ishq Ke Imtihan Aur Bhi Hain

Tihi Zindagi Ke Nahin Yeh Fazaayein,
Yahan Sainkadon Kaaravaan Aur Bhi Hain