Mar 7, 2012

Let Your Parents Grow!


 Kids moving out of their homes to pursue further studies is a common thing.Its more of a status issue these days. Its become more of a necessity to send the kids abroad to pursue further studies. So staying away from parents and home to pursue a career is also quite normal. But when your mom moves out of your home to pursue her career ? What is it that happens? It may be normal too or there may be people with this kind of stories but for me it was for the first time. It took me some time to realize and get in terms with the fact that at the age of 55 she would lead a life on her own miles away.
My mom got transferred to Delhi and moving with all bag and baggage to the capital at this age was both emotionally as well as physically taxing. When the news of her transfer came in ,we tried to pull in all strings to stop this transfer. But unfortunately nothing worked in our favour.And mom finally had to move in to the Capital city.It was a totally new thing for me to start all new without mom in the house.Right from cooking to cleaning everything was like something totally new.i wouldn’t say new but then handling all the responsibilities both in office and home was a challenge in itself.Before my mom was about to decide,she asked me whether you can manage without me.I did give a thought to it and I was in a dilemma .I knew I could handle  the responsibilities,but still I felt somewhere I wouldn’t be able to commit to it totally.i thought whether to say a yes or no to this question. But then I wondered,all the 24 years of my life my mom handled these responsibilities without a word of complain just for my career ,my life. And for me it was just a matter of few months. Immediately I was like I will take care of it ,not an issue.

My mom moved into Delhi and there was a total role reversal. Delhi being famous for its notorious activities had given me enough sleepless nights but then assurance from my dad and mom that she was in a safe locality gave me some relief. Somewhere I had started being a mom and treated my mom as my kid. I found that there was a total role reversal mentally, emotionally. I am someone who always cribbed when my mom used to call me every 4 hours to check in how things are going on. Now its me who does the same and every call makes me realize why I was wrong. My mom used to check out whether I had my lunch and breakfast when she was here. Now its me who calls her up and checks what all stuff she had during the day. Once she is out of the office, I call her up to check in whether she’s reached her hostel safely. I get pissed off when she doesn’t give me a call. I have stepped into her shoes ,though they don’t fit me that well am still trying to carry on with it. These days I am the one who’s advising what she is supposed to eat and what she’s supposed to avoid. This is something  I never did when she was here in Mumbai. The distances between us somehow made me connect to her more .I now understand why it’s difficult being a MOM!
Back here my mom was never interested in internet, emails. Rather she was against me being on GTalk and other social networking sites for a long time. But these days, much to my surprise the change in the location and staying away from the family has also brought a positive change in her and she has become more aware of  the new things that have come up like Face book, Gtalk etc.The first mail from her surprised me as well as broke me down. It was great to see my mom  being all changed and tech-savy. It was also nice to see her live a life full of freedom. She is getting a much deserved vacation .She has become more of an independent lady being all alone in a unknown city andcarefree.I see her grow every single day.I somewhere feel when our parents get old, they become more like kids and we are the ones who boss around.Today am proud of the fact ,that braving all odds that she has gone through in the last one year she has been there to regain her lost position and has been doing great .I believe whenever you get a chance like this ,where your parents want to move forward in life,where they want to learn something new ,do something new don’t be a hindrance for the same. Don’t put in your dreams on their pedestal to growth. Its very rare when you get to see your parents grow .I would say let them grow, encourage them to learn something new, specially Moms who have spent all life being in the four walls of the kitchen. 

Encouraging them to learn something new could be anything from teaching them to drive, enrolling them for a computer course,a new language, getting apart time job for them, hooking them up to some games ,getting them enrolled for yoga,encouraging them to write etc  as per their interest Let age not be a barrier.You too can join with them to make them feel better. If you know of any dreams that your parents couldn’t pursue whatever reason it may be, see to it you get them fulfilled .They deserve a break from the routine ,they deserve this atleast for giving the life you  are living now.


  1. Beautiful... amazingly beautiful.. loved it.

    Glad to have found you at Indiblogger. your newest follower and aregular visitot now

  2. @kajal:Thanks a lot... am glad u liked it :)

  3. A very warm post :) Normally people say its the parents who are possessive and clingy but as your experience shows the opposite is also equally true. But when we see how beautifully they blossom once we let them be on their own,all the worries dissipate.
    Thanks once again for sharing :)

    -ur latest follower

  4. @zach:I too thought that only parents can b clingy. I realized am worser ;)am happy u liked it.:)

  5. True story of your life!
    Now you understood why she was so anxious about you a few months before.
    I liked the last part.
    The tragedy of our generation is that both we and our parents are worried about us, And so engrossed are we in ourselves that their aspirations are left buried.
    I hope your literary piece serve as a trigger.



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