Feb 26, 2013

My Voice Woes !!!

Not very sure as of now what would be your reaction when you call me for the first time and you hear me say "Hello" .For the first timers , i always try to warn them or rather alert them not to hang up if they hear a male voice from the other end.If you hear a male voice that is definitely me .And my dad never bothers to answer my calls since he has better things in life to do ;)Now what makes me say this..
I have always felt i have got a hoarse voice. Some say its sexy, some say its husky and some say i sound like rani mukherjee (now that's quite a compliment *blushes*) and some call me SIR. yeah don't be shocked. The first time someone addressed me as SIR on the phone and i was like "Dude , am miss chitra " .And then suddenly the string of apologies  poured  in. Initially it was once in a month where people addressed me as SIR and i took the pains of correcting them. Now every other call i am being addressed as SIR and it has stopped affecting me. It's not that i haven't tried to change them or rather correct them ; it's just that some are born dim wits.
I would want to share some of the wonderful conversations i have had in all these years .I have classified my callers into different categories.
1) The over-smart caller:
During a promotional Call
Salesperson :Hello
Chitra : Hi !!
Sales person :Sir , we have a new product ..blah blah.May i know your name please
Chitra :grrrr!!! My name is Chitra Nair (hoping that telling my name would stop him from calling me SIR)
Sales Person :Oh ok!!
Chitra :Heaves a sigh of relief.
Sales Person : So Mr.Chitr Nair (gobbles up the letter "a" in my name coz he thinks chitra cant be a guy's name ...idiot!!!)
Chitra :WTF!! its Chitra!!AM MISS CHITRA!! DO YOU GET ME???
He bags the oversmart caller award for his usage of his nonexistent brain.
2) The shy and ever giggly caller (the most irritating of all the types)
Chitra : Hi !!
Sales person :Sir , we have a new product ..blah blah.May i know your name please
Chitra :grrrr!!! My name is Chitra Nair
Sales Person :Oh ok!!
Chitra :Heaves a sigh of relief.
Sales Person : Sir aapko airtel k blah blah
Chitra : Am miss Chitra Nair.MISS HU MAIN!!!
Sales person: (Breaks into giggles and eventually laughs as if this was the most              humorous joke she had ever heard(BITCH!!!)) After she was done with her stupid giggling act She blurts out
"Aap MISS ho ?(giggles) Sorry MAM!!!"
I bang the phone down.

3)The most intelligent types: They never call me SIR
Here goes the conversation
Sales : hello
Chitra :Hey
Sales : mam, we have a new offer blah blah
Chitra :*feels like planting a kiss on the cheeks of the caller for being one among the very few who call me mam*

4)The ones who have fallen in love with me :This happened when i was in my college 
Receives a call from a group of gals and here goes the conversation
Chitra :yeah hello!!
Chitra :HEllooowwwwwwww
Gal :I love you
Chitra :Really ?
Gal :yes!!right from day one.
Chitra :WTF!!! you have fallen in love with a gal? Who the hell gave you my number?
Gal :Aap ladki ho?
Chitra  :*Disconnected*

I am proud of the voice quality that i have ,i don't  give a damn about what these people address me, these days..But yes!! it has put quite a lot of my friends in trouble too. For eg . i still remember a friend of mine telling me not to call her on her landline number   because her dad wouldn't spare her if guys called her up. 
I was shocked when i had called another friend on her landline number and her dad had received the call. Conversation went this way
Chitra :Hello
Dad : hello
Chitra:Uncle ,  S hai?
Dad : hai,par tum kaun?
Chitra : her friend
Dad (passes phone to daughter and says) : eka mulane tula call kela aahe
* the moment where in i wished the world ended *
I also called up a suspicious husband of a friend to convince him that his wife was out with me and not with a guy.In a fit of anger i failed to realise that i sounded like a male for many and very few realise its a gal  at the other end. During the call the only statement i heard  from his end was " hmmm,ok ok" as if he was analysing whether it was a gal or guy. I noticed he had a sweeter voice than mine. banged the phone down only to realise that, my call was the last nail in the coffin.
The other set of compliment that i have got after a singing performance was "Were you singing the male part too ?"  my lips uttered  a pleasant NO whereas my mind would say ,"YES!! you moron!! don't even know to differentiate ...what the hell are you doing on earth!!GET LOST".
I feel my voice is sexy and i think am the only one who feels so :P  But the day isnt far when i would respond to  "SIR" and fail to respond to "Madame!!
 WARNING: Next time you call me and you address me as SIR, I swear that would be the last time you ever said SIR !!All the airtel,bpl,lic callers i swear am going to sue you for changing my sex as per your own wish!! !



  1. Replies
    1. @Shyam : should i say thanku or add u to the list ? :P

  2. Ha ha ! That was funny !! Even I have a husky and deep voice and have had instances of addressing me as Sir. If I tell them my name, still they just prefix Mr and continue, morons as people are !!

    1. yeah people actually are!!! i wonder how dey dont realise that its a female calling even after the name is said.....


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